Being stood up for a date or plans with a friend is never fun. You feel hurt, embarrassed, and your time wasted. But instead of stewing in frustration or texting the person angrily, try taking the high road.
Respond with humor and grace to show that this disappointing incident hasn’t phased you too much. Kill ’em with comedy and make light of the awkward situation.
To help you take the high road with hilarity, here are 36 funny responses to being stood up.
36 Response To Being Stood Up
- “Table for one? More wine for me!”
- “Looks like I’m my own date tonight. I’m such good company.”
- “I guess I’m so awesome, they got intimidated.”
- “Their loss! This amazing [meal/activity] won’t enjoy itself!”
- “Seems I’ve been left alone with my charm. Dangerous!”
- “I’ve heard of ‘fashionably late,’ but this is ‘fictionally late.'”
- “Well, on the bright side, I won’t have to share my dessert.”
- “I should’ve swiped left on someone who doesn’t appreciate punctuality as I do.”
- “Now I’ve got the perfect reason to talk to the cute waiter/waitress.”
- “I’m not stood up, I’m on an artist date with myself. So posh!”
- “Guess I’ll start rating the chairs around here. This one’s a solid 10/10 for comfort.”
- “Looks like my imaginary friend from childhood finally gets to sit down.”
- “If they show up now, they owe me two dates. It’s only fair.”
- “Plot twist: I was the ghost all along. Spooky!”
- “I’ve always wanted an excuse to talk to myself in public.”
- “Turns out I’m the surprise party. Surprise!”
- “I’m not getting stood up, I’m undercover for a solitary gourmet experience!”
- “Time to practice the art of mirror selfies!”
- “The good news is, my future grandkids will never hear about this bad date.”
- “Solo date: because sometimes your best date is you!”
- “They missed out on the ‘Wait for your blind date to show up’ challenge. I win!”
- “Next time, I’ll bring a cardboard cutout. Easier conversation.”
- “They must be a secret agent. Their mission? Stand up a date without being noticed.”
- “Looks like I’ve got an extra ticket to the ‘me, myself, and I’ party.”
- “I’m practicing social distancing from my date. Very responsible of me.”
- “My date tonight is a bit quiet, but so mysterious!”
- “Update: I have been promoted to VIP dining. It’s a very intimate party.”
- “It’s a great night to be stood up—said no one ever. But hey, I’ll roll with it!”
- “Turns out, I’m on a date with destiny. And it’s looking good.”
- “The good thing about dining alone is that you don’t have to share the bread basket.”
- “I’ve decided to play hide and seek with my date. I’m winning so far.”
- “Eating alone just means I can audibly appreciate the food without judgment.”
- “Well, at least my phone is getting all of my undivided attention now.”
- “This is an opportunity to perfect the art of writing passive-aggressive poetry.”
- “My date’s absence has been noted, and their loss will be sung in karaoke.”
- “Turns out I’m the one, the one who gets to eat all the fries!”
What to Response To Being Stood Up?
Below are just the explanations of the responses that were listed above.
- “Table for one? More wine for me!” – Embrace dining alone by ordering yourself a nice glass of wine. Turn your solo meal into a fun pampering experience.
- “Looks like I’m my own date tonight. I’m such good company.” – Remind yourself that you’re wonderful company, even if your date is a no-show. Enjoy hanging out with yourself.
- “I guess I’m so awesome, they got intimidated.” – Joke that your awesomeness was just too much for your date to handle. Poke fun at the situation.
- “Their loss! This amazing [meal/activity] won’t enjoy itself!” – Don’t let the plans go to waste just because you’re solo now. Take advantage of what’s in front of you.
- “Seems I’ve been left alone with my charm. Dangerous!” – Ham it up with an exaggerated reaction about being left with your stellar charm and good looks.
- “I’ve heard of ‘fashionably late,’ but this is ‘fictionally late.'” – A clever quip pointing out their tardiness has gone beyond fashionable to completely fictional.
- “Well, on the bright side, I won’t have to share my dessert.” – Look on the positive side, like getting to indulge without having to offer a bite.
- “I should’ve swiped left on someone who doesn’t appreciate punctuality as I do.” – For a dating scenario, a wink to realizing sooner their flakiness was a red flag.
- “Now I’ve got the perfect reason to talk to the cute waiter/waitress.” – Flirt with the idea of using this opportunity to chat up an attractive server.
- “I’m not stood up, I’m on an artist date with myself. So posh!” – Rebrand your solo time as an indulgent artist date spent with your favorite person.
- “Guess I’ll start rating the chairs around here. This one’s a solid 10/10 for comfort.” – Make your own fun by playfully critiquing details of your surroundings.
- “Looks like my imaginary friend from childhood finally gets to sit down.” – A quirky way to set the scene with an invisible companion.
- “If they show up now, they owe me two dates. It’s only fair.” – Negotiate the terms as you wait, making it clear tardiness comes at a cost.
- “Plot twist: I was the ghost all along. Spooky!” – Have fun spinning an alternate narrative where you’re the mysterious vanishing act.
- “I’ve always wanted an excuse to talk to myself in public.” – Lean into the weirdness of conversing solo in front of strangers.
- “Turns out I’m the surprise party. Surprise!” – Put a silly spin on things by announcing you yourself are the unexpected twist.
- “I’m not getting stood up, I’m undercover for a solitary gourmet experience!” – Imagining you’re a restaurant reviewer on an anonymous tasting mission.
- “Time to practice the art of mirror selfies!” – Take photos of yourself in funky poses as entertainment.
- “The good news is, my future grandkids will never hear about this bad date.” – Find comfort knowing you won’t have to retell an embarrassing story.
- “Solo date: because sometimes your best date is you!” – Affirm that time alone can be just as fun and rewarding as time with others.
- “They missed out on the ‘Wait for your blind date to show up’ challenge. I win!” – Make a joke implying you’ve succeeded at waiting around while your blind date mysteriously didn’t show. A lighthearted take on an awkward situation.
- “Next time, I’ll bring a cardboard cutout. Easier conversation.” – Wryly suggest you’ll bring a fake date next time since they make for better company than being stood up.
- “They must be a secret agent. Their mission? Stand up a date without being noticed.” – Humorously imagine an exciting backstory for why your date ghosted. Makes light of their bad behavior.
- “Looks like I’ve got an extra ticket to the ‘me, myself, and I’ party.” – Frame going solo as an exclusive party just for yourself that no one else got invited to.
- “I’m practicing social distancing from my date. Very responsible of me.” – Joke that you’re simply being cautious for public health by staying far away from your absent date.
- “My date tonight is a bit quiet, but so mysterious!” – Sarcastically refer to your lack of a date as if they’re present but not talkative.
- “Update: I have been promoted to VIP dining. It’s a very intimate party.” – Humorously share you’ve been upgraded from a regular table to very important solo diner status.
- “It’s a great night to be stood up—said no one ever. But hey, I’ll roll with it!” – Acknowledge the unpleasantness but try to keep a positive attitude.
- “Turns out, I’m on a date with destiny. And it’s looking good.” – Put a dramatic spin on flying solo as if you’re fatefully meant to dine alone.
- “The good thing about dining alone is that you don’t have to share the bread basket.” – Focus on an upside like not having to offer your date a piece of bread.
- “I’ve decided to play hide and seek with my date. I’m winning so far.” – Make light of the awkward situation by pretending you’re playing a game.
- “Eating alone just means I can audibly appreciate the food without judgment.” – Frame solo dining as an opportunity to relish your food loudly and without care.
- “Well, at least my phone is getting all of my undivided attention now.” – Note the silver lining that you can focus fully on scrolling through your phone without distraction.
- “This is an opportunity to perfect the art of writing passive-aggressive poetry.” – Jokingly suggest channeling your frustration into creative outlets.
- “My date’s absence has been noted, and their loss will be sung in karaoke.” – Humorously threaten to express your annoyance through dramatic karaoke performances.
- “Turns out I’m the one, the one who gets to eat all the fries!” – Spotlight the bright side of getting to eat all of a tasty food item without sharing.
FAQ
1. What are some funny responses to being stood up that poke fun at the situation?
Some humorous responses include “I’ve heard of ‘fashionably late’ but this is ‘fictionally late,’” “Table for one? More wine for me!,” and “Next time I’ll bring a cardboard cutout as my date – easier conversation.” Poking light fun at being stood up helps take away some of the sting.
2. How can you tell if someone’s excuse for standing you up is valid or just a bad behavior cop-out?
Look at patterns in their behavior rather than excuses for each occurrence. If they frequently cancel plans last minute or have a trail of past romantic partners who feel jilted, it’s likely their excuses are covering up bad behavior. A one-off instance with a sincere apology and legitimate reason like a medical emergency can be more believable.
3. What should you do if you get stood up on a first date with someone you met online?
Don’t take it personally – it’s a reflection on them, not you. Dust off the cobwebs by doing something fun solo you’ve been putting off, like going to that new Taylor Swift concert or Broadway show. And get back out there on social media or dating apps to find someone who would never stand up such an amazing person.
Conclusion
Being stood up is one of those unavoidable nuisances we all deal with in dating and socializing. As hurtful as it feels in the moment, don’t let it rattle your confidence or sink your whole night. Respond with grace and humor that shows you’re not letting someone else’s bad behavior drag you down.
Of course, you can just let the incident go and say nothing too. But where’s the fun in that? A dash of light-hearted sass helps reclaim your power in the situation. And it certainly beats stooping to their level with insults or guilt-tripping.
So consider trying out a clever retort from our list of 36 funny responses to being stood up. Many poke gentle fun at the offender or creatively reframe the scenario. After you deliver your zinger, move forward solo with your evening and focus on enjoying yourself, not lamenting their absence.
