Going on a date can be thrilling but also nerve-wracking. You may worry about sounding too eager or desperate when accepting a date invitation. However, showing genuine interest is key in dating. This comprehensive guide provides tips to say yes to a date while maintaining confidence and playing it cool, it also contains other general advice.
Why Sounding Desperate on a Date is a Turn-Off
Appearing overly eager or desperate when saying yes to a date can make the other person question your motives. They may wonder if your enthusiasm suggests:
- You don’t have many other dating options
- You’ve already fantasized about a serious relationship with them
- You’ll become clingy and emotionally dependent
This can make the person feel pressured and guarded on the date rather than relaxed and open to getting to know you.
On the other hand, sounding desperate could simply reflect nervous excitement. With the right communication approach, you can confirm your interest without seeming desperate.
How to Say Yes to a Date: In-Person Invitation
If someone asks you out in person, follow these tips to accept smoothly:
1. Take a deep breath
Inhale slowly to calm any jitters. Collect your thoughts before responding.
2. Smile warmly
A calm, pleased smile shows you’re happy about the invitation. Avoid grinning wildly or squealing with delight.
3. Say “Yes, I’d really enjoy that.”
Give a simple yes followed by expressing you’d appreciate going on a date. This shows clear interest.
4. Thank them for asking
Show you’re flattered they wanted to ask you out. But don’t gush profusely.
5. Ask for details
Inquire about the date plan so you know what you’re agreeing to. Don’t pepper them with tons of questions.
6. Confirm the time and place
Verify the time, location and any other logistics needed to finalize the date plans.
7. Say you look forward to it
Tell them you anticipate having a nice time getting to know them better on the date. Don’t envision your future together.
8. Don’t discuss excessive contact
Don’t immediately start discussing constant texting or multiple future dates. Keep it focused on the one date.
9. Wrap up gracefully
End the conversation positively by saying you’ll see them on the date. Don’t cling to the interaction.
How to Say Yes to a Date: Over Text
Texting requires extra care to sound interested but not desperate when accepting a date. Follow these texting tips:
10. Thank them for the invitation
Show you appreciate they thought to ask you out. For example: “Thanks for thinking of me!”
11. Express enthusiasm
Use positive language like “That sounds fun!” Avoid effusive exclamation points and emojis.
12. Confirm the details
Make sure you understand the proposed date plan before agreeing. Get clarity if needed.
13. Keep responses brief
Don’t gush paragraphs or bombard them with tons of follow-up questions. Keep replies short.
14. Suggest alternative plans (if needed)
If you can’t make the proposed date, briefly offer another day/time that works for you.
15. Use “looking forward to it”
Write you’re looking forward to seeing them on the date. Don’t imagine future dates or relationship status.
16. End the conversation
After finalizing details, indicate you’ll see them on the date. Don’t drag the text exchange on indefinitely.
How to Say Yes to a Date: Over Phone
Arranging a date over the phone also requires thoughtful responses. Use these phone tips:
17. Pause before responding
When they ask you out, take a silent moment to gather your thoughts before answering. Don’t immediately yell “Yes!”
18. Speak slowly and steadily
Keep your voice even-toned rather than squealing with excitement. Slow your speech down if needed.
19. Thank them and say you’d enjoy that
Just as with in-person or text, open with thanks and expressing you’d like the date.
20. Ask for date details
Make sure you get the key timing and location information. Don’t rapid-fire 20 questions at them.
21. Confirm the information back
Verify the details by repeating them back. This prevents misunderstandings.
22. Wrap up the call
Have a clear ending to the phone call rather than letting it drag on excessively with excited babbling.
How to Confirm a Date Without Sounding Desperate
Once your date is set up, avoid contacting them excessively to lock down plans. Use these tips:
23. Don’t call, just text
Texting is less intrusive and avoids awkward moments if they want to cancel.
24. Keep it brief
Get logistics confirmed using concise texts focused just on date details. Don’t bombard them with essays.
25. Use positive language
Phrase your confirmation text upbeat and optimistic, not doubtful or pushy.
26. Ask a question
“Looking forward to dinner at 7 on Friday – does that still work for you?” Open-ended questions are great confirmations.
27. Make positive assumptions
Act as though the date is definitively happening already when confirming details. This oozes confidence.
28. Time it right
Confirm 1-2 days in advance. Avoid confirming way earlier or at the last minute.
29. Stay graceful if they cancel
If they have to reschedule, don’t take it personally. Politely ask to arrange for another day. Don’t demand reasons.
30. Don’t discuss it excessively
Once you’ve confirmed, don’t bring the date up constantly in later communications. Keep talk about other topics.
How to Gracefully Reschedule a Date
Plans truly can change unexpectedly. If you must delay your date, do so politely with these tactics:
31. Apologize
Open by saying you’re very sorry you have to move the date. Don’t make excuses.
32. Explain briefly
Offer 1-2 sentence high-level reason, like a work obligation. Don’t give overly personal details.
33. Immediately suggest an alternative
Provide another day/time you’re definitely available to reschedule.
34. Express enthusiasm
Say you look forward to seeing them soon on the new date.
35. Don’t make it a habit
Only reschedule when absolutely necessary. Serial cancellations signal flakiness or disinterest.
How to Decline a Date Without Offending
What if you’re not interested in someone who asks you out? Politely decline using these tactics:
36. Thank them
Show you appreciate the courage it took to ask.
37. Decline simply
An upfront “Thank you, but I’ll have to pass on a date” suffices. You don’t need to justify why.
38. Offer friendship (optional)
If appropriate given your existing platonic relationship, you could express openness to remaining friends.
39. Resist bargains
Don’t ask “What if we just got coffee?” if you’re really not interested at all. It wastes their time.
40. Don’t ghost
At least respond to decline the date, even if it’s not your ideal choice. Complete silence is rude.
How to Tactfully Determine If It’s a Date
Sometimes date invitations are vague. Use these tips to confirm whether it’s meant romantically:
41. Watch their body language
Flirty eye contact, leaning close, and orienting their body toward you suggest date interest.
42. Note the invitation wording
“Want to go on a date?” indicates a date. More ambiguous phrases like “Want to hang out?” may require tactful follow-up questions.
43. Consider relationship status
Invites from close friends are often platonic. Those from more casual acquaintances tend to signal dates.
44. Suggest a traditionally romantic activity
Proposing dinner or a concert often clarifies if they want a real date. If unsure, don’t just agree to “hang out” ambiguously.
45. Ask lightheartedly
Humor helps reduce awkwardness. Say something like, “Just to be clear – is this a date, or are we just two friends hanging out?”
Signs Someone Isn’t romantically Interested
Pay attention to these signals suggesting they may not actually want to date:
46. Uncomfortable body language
Fidgeting, leaning away from you, crossed arms, and little eye contact may convey disinterest.
47. Conversation focuses on others
If they mainly talk about other romantic prospects, they likely don’t see you as one.
48. Only last-minute availability
Habitually only being free at the very last minute suggests you’re a backup choice.
49. Takes hours to respond
Consistently waiting many hours or days to respond to texts or calls indicates low enthusiasm.
50. Passive date suggestions
“We should hang out sometime” may reflect politeness versus sincere interest in dating.
How to Initiate a Date Without Sounding Desperate
If you want to be the one to ask someone out, do so tactfully:
51. Time it appropriately
Don’t ask out strangers or people you’ve just met minutes ago. Build some basic rapport first.
52. Watch for signs of mutual interest
Gauge if they seem interested in you through sustained eye contact, engaged body language, laughter, and enthusiasm chatting with you.
53. Have a specific date idea
Skip a vague “Want to hang out?” and instead propose a concrete day, time, and activity showing you put thought into it.
54. Keep it lighthearted
Inject humor to reduce pressure. Say something like “I’ve really enjoyed talking, and I’d love to keep the conversation going over dinner this weekend if you’re up for it.”
55. Suggest a public location
Proposing a public place like a café for a first date reduces pressure and conveys your date will feel safe and comfortable.
56. Don’t take initial rejection personally
If they decline your date invite the first time, graciously back off. But you could try again later if it still feels right.
Mastering Body Language When Accepting a Date
Your body language impacts how interested you appear. Remember to:
57. Stand comfortably upright
Good posture conveys confidence. Avoid nervous fidgeting or slouching.
58. Make comfortable eye contact
Maintain periodic natural eye contact. Staring nonstop may come across as intense.
59. Flash an authentic smile
A genuine (not forced) smile shows happiness about the date invite. But don’t grin constantly.
60. Keep arms uncrossed
Having open/uncrossed arms looks more warm and welcoming. Crossed arms can seem closed off.
61. Lean in slightly
Subtly leaning your body in towards them demonstrates engagement. Avoid pulling away.
Things to Avoid Doing After Accepting a Date
Once you’ve said yes, don’t make these clingy missteps:
62. Suggest constant communication
Don’t propose nonstop texting in the days before the date. Keep conversations organic, not forced.
63. Overanalyze their texts
Don’t read into the timing or emoji choice of texts. Take them at face value.
64. Bring up serious relationship topics
Don’t have heavy talks about being exclusive or meeting each other’s families before you’ve even had the first date!
65. Push for immediate second date
Wait until you’ve actually had the first date to decide if you both want to go out again.
66. Request social media connection
Don’t push to friend/follow them on social media if that’s not already organically established.
67. Show up unannounced
Never “surprise” them by just showing up at their home or workplace. Do not stalk them!
Best Practices for Sending a Follow-Up Text After a Date
If you want another date, when/how should you text them again afterward?
68. Let some time pass
Give it a day or two so you both have time to process the date experience before reaching out.
69. Thank them
Express appreciation for their time and say you enjoyed getting to know them better.
70. Suggest a second date
If you’re interested, propose meeting up again for a specific second date idea like dinner at a new restaurant.
71. Accept a “no” gracefully
If they decline another date, politely back off. Don’t plead with them to change their mind.
72. Don’t drunk text
Always text sober! Tipsy “u up?” late night texts never make a good impression after a first date. Or any date.
Ways To Decline a Second Date
If you don’t want to go out again, you can politely decline:
73. Thank them for the invitation
Show you value them thinking of you again.
74. Decline simply
Say you won’t be able to make a second date but appreciate them thinking of you. You don’t need to excessively explain why if you don’t want to date further.
75. Wish them well
“Thanks again for the nice evening last week. I don’t think we’re a match for more dates but hope you find someone great!” Letting them down while still being kind goes a long way.
How to Tell If Someone Is Just Not Interested
Look for these signs suggesting disinterest rather than playing coy:
76. Makes no effort to reschedule
If they cancel but express no interest in finding another time, they may be trying to politely dodge you.
77. Leaves you on read
If someone continually ignores your texts to finalize a date, take the hint.
78. Uses vague excuses
General excuses like “I’m busy” often signal disinterest vs. a specific conflict.
79. Shows annoyance
Short, terse responses or expressing irritation at your date confirmation attempts signal they’re not feeling it.
80. Makes no alternative suggestions
Saying they can’t make a date you propose but not offering specific alternative days indicates low motivation.
How to politely Back Out If You Change Your Mind or Meet Someone New
You’re allowed to cancel a date you initially said yes to, but do so tactfully:
81. Notify them promptly
If your feelings change, don’t wait until the last minute. Give them as much notice as possible.
82. thank them
“Thanks for asking me out – I was looking forward to it…” Starting with gratitude establishes you’re not canceling lightly.
83. Give a vague, positive reason
“After giving it more thought I don’t think we’d be a match romantically right now.” Keep it polite without brutal details.
84. Wish them well
“Thanks again for thinking of me. I’m sure you’ll find someone well-suited!” A warm send-off maintains goodwill.
How to Turn Down a Date Due To Illness
Cancel politely and promptly if sick, like:
85. Apologize
“I’m so sorry, but I’m going to have to take a raincheck on our date tonight.” Don’t just not show up!
86. Say you’re ill
“I’ve come down suddenly with the flu.” Vague health reasons suffice – no gruesome details needed.
87. Offer an alternative
“I’m really bummed to miss out on tonight, but let me know if you’d be up for rescheduling once I’m feeling better!”
Handling Rejection Gracefully
If they turn you down, handle it with maturity:
88. Be polite
Just say “I understand, no problem at all!” Avoid guilting them or demanding reasons.
89. Don’t take it personally
It likely just indicates you’re incompatible, not that anything is deeply wrong with you. Don’t internalize it.
90. Move on
The right person will be excited to date you! When one person says no, don’t obsess over it. Just keep meeting new people.
Frequently Asked Questions About Accepting Dates
How early should you confirm a first date?
Aim to confirm 1-2 days before the set date. Confirming a week in advance can feel premature. But an hour before feels last minute.
What’s a good way to confirm a date over text?
Keep it simple like “Hey, we’re still on for dinner at 7 on Friday, right?” Avoid long-winded emotive texts.
What if they don’t confirm the date?
If they never confirm plans as the date approaches, take that as a sign of disinterest and move on. Don’t chase them down.
