40 Funny Things To Say After “Guess What!”

We’ve all been there – someone comes up to you excitedly and says “Guess what?!” It’s meant to build anticipation and get you curious, but it can also be annoying, especially if you’re not in the mood for guessing games.

What do you say after “Guess what?” Here are 40 funny, sarcastic, and witty responses you can try the next time someone tries to pull you into a guessing game.

Funny Things To Say After “Guess What”

When a friend, family member, or even strangers say “Guess what?” to you, they want you to speculate about some news or surprise they have. Of course, you likely have no idea what they are talking about since they haven’t given you any hints. Here are some humorous responses you can give when you don’t feel like guessing:

  1. “Sorry, I’m very bad at guessing. Can you tell what I guessed?” You can politely decline to play their guessing game by admitting you are just horrible at guessing. This lets them know you aren’t going to speculate, so they should skip ahead to just telling you.
  2. “Whatever I guess that surprisingly happens in real life.” This response hints that whatever you guess could magically come true just by the act of guessing it. It’s a clever way to avoid actually guessing anything while still giving a funny response.
  3. “Is it a girl or boy? Oh, wow, when did this happen?” If it’s a friend or family member, act excited like they just announced a pregnancy or new baby. This will get a laugh when they reveal it’s nothing of the sort.
  4. “Okay, I have guessed it. Now, you guess what’s on my mind.” Turn the guessing game around on them – pretend you’ve speculated so now it’s their turn to guess what you are thinking about. This shows them how silly it is to expect someone else to guess randomly.
  5. “I’m not in a mood to play. Maybe we should do it some days.” This response works well if you are feeling down and don’t want to joke around. Let them know nicely that you don’t feel like guessing games right now.
  6. “That’s what you’re better at, I just don’t think.” Sarcastically imply that all they do is make guesses and play imagination games rather than doing anything productive. It calls out the absurdity of their guessing request.
  7. “I can but at this time, I need you to guess my mood.” Tell them that first they need to speculate about your current mood before you’ll guess about their news. This hints that they should be more considerate rather than demanding a guessing game from you.
  8. “Don’t talk about ‘Gas’, that’s damn too pricey.” Complain about something like high gas prices rather than actually guessing what they want you to. This response works well if you want to vent a little frustration in a funny way.
  9. “I can’t do it, my mind doesn’t work like you.” Pretend like you don’t have the creative mind needed to play their imagining and guessing game. This playfully shifts the focus back on them.
  10. “Oh, not again. Please go play a guessing game with someone else.” Act like they always force you to speculate about random things. Request they find someone else to play guessing games with this time to get the message across.

Flirty Responses to “Guess What”

When your crush, date, or significant other excitedly says “Guess what?!” you probably don’t want to be sarcastic or make fun of them. Here are some cute flirty responses you can give instead:

  1. “I’m already guessing you and I are together.” When your romantic partner seems excited about something, flirtatiously guess that it involves the two of you as a couple in some way.
  2. “No, I’m not guessing, but I can dream about our future.” Let them know you’d rather not speculate, but you do like to daydream about building a future together. This is sweet but still avoids the guessing game.
  3. “Are you about to propose to me for marriage?” If you’ve been hoping for a proposal, this response playfully puts the idea in their head and gets their reaction. Just don’t be disappointed if they aren’t ready for that step!
  4. “You have a crush on me, right? Same here.” If it’s someone you are just dating or want to date, use this flirty response to hint at your mutual attraction and interest in each other.
  5. “I’m guessing that you’re finally asking me out on a date!” Give this playful response to someone you’re hoping will ask you out. It could lead to them finally making a date invitation you’ve been waiting for.

Sarcastic Responses to “Guess What”

When friends, siblings, or coworkers try to pull you into another pointless guessing game, it’s understandable to feel annoyed. Here are some sarcastic and savage responses to try instead:

  1. “I was hoping. Now, I’m guessing that you’re not here.” This implies that you wish they weren’t here bothering you with their request to speculate about something unimportant. The brutal honesty may deter them from this game in the future.
  2. “Why do you always have to create suspense?” This reply points out that they seem to love drama and building anticipation even over small, mundane things. It highlights the ridiculousness of their guessing demand.
  3. “You’re adopted and you just know it today. Am I right?” Say this even if you know they aren’t adopted. It’s an unexpected sarcastic response that underscores how unlikely it is for you to guess what their news is randomly.
  4. “You finally got a job, Right?” This savage guess implies they are lazy and unemployed if asking you trivial guessing games is how they spend their ample free time. The sarcasm gets the point across.
  5. “So you will tell me what to do, huh!” This response acts like they are giving you orders and you refuse to comply. It’s an indirect way to stand up to their guessing demand and deny them the game they want.
  6. “How dare you make me do something for you?” Pretend to be shocked and outraged that they would be so bold as to expect you to speculate at their command. This exaggerated reaction highlights the absurdity.
  7. “Guess what? Your bright future?” Since you can’t begin to guess what they want, sarcastically speculate it’s something completely unrealistic and unlikely, like them having a bright future.
  8. “Don’t waste my time, tell me what you have to share.” Directly insist that they stop wasting time with guessing build-up and just get to their point. This refusal leaves no room for their game to continue.
  9. “You have won the lottery and you want to share it with me?” Of course they didn’t win the lottery, so this sarcastic guess calls out how unlikely it is you’d ever know what they want you to speculate about.

What to Say After “Guess What”

Sometimes you may genuinely want to have fun with the guessing game or don’t want to offend the other person with a sarcastic or avoiding response. Here are some positive things you can say after “Guess what?”:

  1. “Oooh, this sounds exciting, but I have no idea – tell me!” This response lets them know you are happy for them but don’t want to speculate incorrectly. It keeps things upbeat.
  2. “You know I’m terrible at guessing games – put me out of my misery and tell me!” Admitting you are horrible at guessing takes the pressure off while still indicating you are interested in what they have to say.
  3. “I’m dying to know now, just tell me before I guess something ridiculous!” Play up your curiosity in a fun way while making it clear you aren’t going to attempt to speculate blindly.
  4. “How am I supposed to guess if you don’t give me any hints about what you’re talking about?” This is a lighthearted way to call out the absurdity of expecting someone to guess with zero information to go off of.
  5. “Hmm let’s see, does it have something to do with [random unrelated thing]?” Throw out a totally random and unrelated guess. This shows you are playing along but also aren’t taking the guessing seriously.
  6. “Just tell me already, the suspense is killing me!” Be dramatic about needing to hear their news right away. This is a friendly way to say cut to the chase already.

Funny Guesses to Say After “Guess What”

Rather than shut down the guessing game entirely, you can have fun by making ridiculous guesses:

  1. “You finally got that pet unicorn you always wanted?” Unicorns aren’t real, so this guess pokes fun at the fact that you have absolutely no clue what they want you to guess.
  2. “You won a lifetime supply of ice cream and we’re having an all-you-can-eat party tonight?” Make up a silly, unrealistic scenario like this. The exaggeration highlights how clueless you are.
  3. “Our principal just announced that school is cancelled for the year?” Speculate something extremely unlikely that you would have no way of already knowing. This points out the absurdity of their no-hint guessing request.
  4. “You finally found the end of the internet?” Sarcastically suggest you guessed something impossible like finding the end of the infinite internet. Say this in a serious tone for added comedic effect.
  5. “You just discovered aliens have been living in our attic this whole time?” Pick a far-fetched, crazy scenario to poke fun at just how random the guess is that they expect from you.
  6. “I know, our town is finally getting a rollercoaster!” Make up something exciting you have been wanting to happen, even though it obviously isn’t what they were referring to.
  7. “Wait don’t tell me…it’s your birthday today!” Pretend to have forgotten their birthday if that is nowhere close to the actual date. This shows just how little you have to go off of.
  8. “You finally perfected your time machine?!” Say they achieved something ridiculous like inventing a real working time machine. Highlighting the implausibility pokes fun at their no-hint guessing demand.
  9. “You’re announcing your candidacy for president?” Speculate they have exciting news like running for political office. This exaggeration emphasizes how unlikely it is you’d ever guess correctly.
  10. “Our teacher said we don’t have to take exams this year?” Make up a scenario where school tests are suddenly cancelled. The extreme guess highlights your total lack of real information.

Key Takeaways

  • Give a funny response rather than straightforwardly guessing when someone says “Guess what?!” without providing any hints. This avoids awkwardly speculating incorrectly.
  • Sarcastic or witty responses point out how silly it is to expect someone to guess with zero details to go off of.
  • You can jokingly turn the guessing game back around on them or make up ridiculous guesses to poke fun at their request.
  • If you want to be polite, say you have no idea and they should just tell you to cut to the chase.
  • Flirty responses work well for romantic partners who say “Guess what?!” as you can playfully bring up relationship topics.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are some funny things to say after “Guess what?” to lighten the mood?

You can try lighthearted responses like referencing Star Wars (“You’re my father, Luke”), telling a knock knock joke, or being sarcastic (“You finally got a job?”). The goal is to add some humor through puns, dad jokes, or funny quotes when someone says “guess what” to make the conversation fun.

What are good flirty responses to “Guess what?” from your crush?

If your crush says “Guess what?” you could jokingly say “You’re finally going to ask me out?” or “Is this about our Valentine’s Day plans?” Flirty responses show you’re interested in them romantically when you get the chance during this guessing game.

How do you respond to “Guess what?” if you’re not in the mood?

If you don’t feel like guessing, politely decline by saying you’re too nervous, preoccupied, or tired for the game. You can also be direct and ask them to just tell you since casual conversation is best when both people are engaged.

What’s a funny response if someone keeps saying “Guess what?”

If they won’t stop the guessing game, give a sarcastic or punny response to show your annoyance. You can try saying “You won the New York lottery?” or make a knock knock joke about Santa Claus. This shows you want new conversation topics.

What are funny things to say when you can’t guess the answer?

When you have no idea, give a silly fake guess like “You finally got that pet unicorn you wanted?” or randomly guess an object like “ice cream!” Saying the weirdest thing you can think of shows you’re stumped in this guessing game.

What’s a good funny response if someone you don’t know well says “Guess what?”

If an acquaintance or stranger says “Guess what?”, you can politely say “I’m not sure, what is it?” to avoid guessing incorrectly about a personal matter. You can also use humor by saying “We’re related?” or “You won the lottery?” to a friend.

What are some funny things to say if you don’t want to play the “Guess what?” game?

Try saying “Let me guess…you don’t want me to actually guess?” or “I’m all guessed out, just tell me!” If you don’t want to guess, use humor to decline the game or ask them to tell you since you can’t think of anything.

How do you sarcastically respond to “Guess what?” from someone you don’t want to talk to?

If it’s someone you want to avoid, say “You’re moving far away?” or “I don’t have time for guessing games” to dismiss the question sarcastically. You can also use irony by enthusiastically guessing “You won a million dollars?” when you know it’s very unlikely.

What’s a funny response if a new friend constantly says “Guess what?”

Tell new friends prone to this guessing prompt that you’re too nervous to guess or just say “I never know!” Establish from the start that you prefer skipping the guessing game and having them share news directly until you know each other better.

What are some funny, exaggerated responses to “Guess what?”

When asked to guess, give absurdly enthusiastic responses like “You met the Queen of England?” or “You’re going to be an astronaut?” Exaggerating your fake guess pokes fun at the dramatic suspense they’re trying to create with this question.

Final Thoughts

Being put on the spot with a “Guess what?!” can catch you off guard, but having several funny responses ready can help you handle it smoothly. Just remember to consider the relationship and situation first before launching into a sarcastic or exaggerated response. With practice, you’ll be ready with the perfect witty retort that makes light of their silly guessing demand while keeping things friendly. So next time, try out one of these 40 funny things to say after “Guess what” and get ready to give them a humorous reaction.

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