75 Hilarious Roasts To Say To Your Friend

Roasting your friends can be one of the most entertaining parts of friendship. Dropping a perfectly timed insult or comeback can lead to endless laughs and inside jokes. Learning how to creatively and humorously roast your buddies takes some skill, but the payoff in laughter and camaraderie is worth it.

This guide will provide you with 75 hilarious, witty, and savage roasts that are sure to get a reaction from your friend. We’ll cover funny roasts for a variety of situations. With these jokes in your back pocket, you’ll be ready to roast your friends into oblivion.

Why Roasting Your Friends Can Be Hilarious

Giving your friends a hard time and trading insults may seem counterintuitive to friendship at first. But roasting each other can actually be a bonding experience and lead to deeper camaraderie when done right. Here are some of the reasons roasting your pals can be so entertaining:

• It shows you’re comfortable enough with each other to joke around. You don’t have to hold back.
• Roasting is a competition to see who has the wittiest comebacks. Honing this skill together can be fun.
• Making fun of each other’s quirks and flaws is an act of affection. You have to know someone well to roast them.
• Laughter and inside jokes that come from roasting create great memories between friends.
• Trading insults playfully exercises your creativity and sense of humor.

The key is keeping roasts lighthearted rather than mean-spirited. As long as both friends are in on the joke, roasting each other can take your friendship to hilarious new levels.

75 Roasts To Say To Your Friend

1. That shirt used to fit before someone put it in the dryer too long.
2. With procrastination skills like yours, you could teach a masterclass.
3. Did you coordinate that outfit in the dark?
4. Compliments seem to bounce right off you, don’t they?
5. You’re a walking, talking typo.
6. Is there an echo in your empty head?
7. You’re the human version of ‘meh’.
8. Your brain appears to be offline.
9. You’re the reason for all those warning labels.
10. Your parents are still waiting for you to mature.
11. That face could inspire some truly terrible jokes.
12. You really need captions to understand you.
13. Your fashion sense is certainly…unique.
14. You’d take home gold if stupidity was a sport.
15. Only a mom could cherish that face. Or a blind person.
16. You’d get a participation trophy in any intelligence competition.
17. You’re like a living 404 error message.
18. GoldFish has more attention span than yours
19. You have a gift for being a letdown.
20. Did someone replace your brain with a potato?
21. Your internal GPS is perpetually confused.
22. Do you rehearse being that clumsy?
23. You’re why we can’t have nice things.
24. Did it take all day to think up that lame comeback?
25. If intelligence was money, you’d be poor.
26. Common sense seems to have skipped you.
27. If foolishness caused pain, you’d always be hurting.
28. I didn’t realize they gave awards for being so mediocre.
29. Are you turned off by hard work?
30. You’re a magnet for awkward moments.
31. Your energy level makes a slug look energetic.
32. Did you miss the lecture on hygiene basics?
33. You have the perfect face for radio.
34. You clearly took a detour on the road to success.
35. Did you pioneer the art of uncomfortable silence?
36. No wonder aliens avoid Earth because of you.
37. Are you bad luck personified?
38. I’d mock you but don’t want to hear your reply.
39. You wrote the book on bad choices.
40. With laziness like yours, you could be a superhero.
41. Did you shatter a mirror and get cursed with incompetence?
42. You’re the expert at doing zilch.
43. I didn’t think someone could be so generic.
44. You’re proof evolution can reverse.
45. You’d win an award for wasting time.
46. I didn’t know someone could be allergic to success before meeting you.
47. You have a talent for dodging greatness.
48. If stupidity was art, you’d be Picasso.
49. You’re the living embodiment of regret.
50. Your dreams must be chronically disappointed.
51. Did you hit every branch falling off the awkward tree?
52. Your comedic timing needs some work.
53. You must be immune to laughter.
54. You’re a walking advertisement for birth control.
55. Watching paint dry is more entertaining than you.
56. You have a black belt in awkwardness.
57. Misfortune is attracted to you like a magnet.
58. You’d take first place for being forgettable.
59. You’re not ugly but not model material either.
60. Did you leave your wit at home today?
61. That hairdo is an interesting choice.
62. Your fashion sense seems to be hibernating.
63. Compliments bounce right off you, don’t they?
64. You’re a human blooper reel.
65. Is anyone home in that head of yours?
66. You’re the poster child for ‘meh’.
67. Your brain seems stuck in power save mode.
68. You’re why we need so many warning labels.
69. Your parents must be so proud of your immaturity.
70. That face could inspire multiple bad jokes.
71. You really require subtitles to understand.
72. Your fashion is certainly unique, I’ll give you that.
73. You’d take home the gold in any stupidity contest.
74. Only a mother could love that face. Maybe a blind person too.
75. You’d definitely get a participation trophy in a smarts competition.

What To Say To Your Friend to Roast?

Now, if you have read the 75 roasts to say to your friend want to extend the roasting a bit more, you can use those below. Just to keep in mind, it’s the same 75 roasting ways that we already discussed but with a bit more wordings.

1. That shirt used to fit before someone put it in the dryer too long. – This clever roast pokes fun at a shirt that now appears too small on someone, joking that it shrank after improperly drying it.
2. With procrastination skills like yours, you could teach a masterclass. – Your tendency to constantly put things off is so extreme you could instruct others in the art of procrastination.
3. Did you coordinate that outfit in the dark? – Your questionable fashion style suggests you got dressed without the lights on.
4. Compliments seem to bounce right off you, don’t they? – You never accept or appreciate praise, it just deflects off you immediately.
5. You’re a walking, talking typo. – Just like a typing error, you’re prone to awkward mistakes and clumsiness.
6. Is there an echo in your empty head? – There’s so little going on in your mind, it’s like a blank empty space creating an echo.
7. You’re the human version of ‘meh’. – You elicit utter boredom and blandness, just like the word “meh” describes.
8. Your brain appears to be offline. – You seem completely spaced out and not mentally present, as if your brain isn’t even powered on.
9. You’re the reason for all those warning labels. – Your propensity for risky behavior explains the need for cautionary warning labels everywhere.
10. Your parents are still waiting for you to mature. – You have a juvenile mentality and still act childishly, to your parents’ disappointment.
11. That face could inspire some truly terrible jokes. – Your appearance lends itself to being the butt of many awful jokes.
12. You really need captions to understand you. – Your inability to communicate clearly means subtitles/captions are required to interpret you.
13. Your fashion sense is certainly…unique. – Your clothing choices are decidedly unconventional and eccentric.
14. You’d take home gold if stupidity was a sport. – You have a special talent for dimwitted behavior that would earn you first place in any dumbness competition.
15. Only a mom could cherish that face. Or a blind person. – Your looks are only appealing to a maternal figure or someone unable to see you.
16. You’d get a participation trophy in any intelligence competition. – Your mental abilities are so mediocre you’d only qualify for an award merely showing up.
17. You’re like a living 404 error message. – Interacting with you mimics encountering a 404 “page not found” web error – confusing and leading nowhere.
18. GoldFish has more attention span than yours – Your limited ability to focus or stay attentive is less than even a simple goldfish’s.
19. You have a gift for being a letdown. – You excel in consistently disappointing others and not meeting expectations.
20. Did someone replace your brain with a potato? – You act so unintelligently it’s as if your brain was swapped with a useless potato.
21. Your internal GPS is perpetually confused. – Like a malfunctioning navigation system, you always seem unable to find your way.
22. Do you rehearse being that clumsy? – Your frequent awkward blunders seem so perfectly executed, it’s as if you practice them.
23. You’re why we can’t have nice things. – Any hopes for nice items or situations are ruined by your presence or behavior.
24. Did it take all day to think up that lame comeback? – Your delayed, weak retort suggests you struggled greatly to devise it.
25. If intelligence was money, you’d be poor. – You have such little wit it would translate to poverty in economic terms.
26. Common sense seems to have skipped you. – You lack basic pragmatic judgment as if it failed to reach you.
27. If foolishness caused pain, you’d always be hurting. – You exhibit foolish behavior so often that you’d endure constant agony if it physically hurt.
28. I didn’t realize they gave awards for being so mediocre. – Your exceptional capacity for average blandness deserves recognition.
29. Are you turned off by hard work? – You avoid exerting effort as if you’re repelled by it.
30. You’re a magnet for awkward moments. – You have a talent for attracting and creating uncomfortable, embarrassing situations.
31. Your energy level makes a slug look energetic. – Your severe lack of vitality and enthusiasm makes even a typically lethargic slug seem energetic.
32. Did you miss the lecture on hygiene basics? – Your poor grooming habits imply you skipped the class about fundamental cleanliness.
33. You have the perfect face for radio. – Your voice and personality may work on radio where looks don’t matter, unlike your appearance.
34. You clearly took a detour on the road to success. – Rather than following the path to success, you veered off course.
35. Did you pioneer the art of uncomfortable silence? – Your tendency to create awkward speechless moments suggests you could have founded uncomfortable silence.

36. No wonder aliens avoid Earth because of you. – Your bizarre behavior and lack of logic explains why advanced life forms avoid contacting our planet.
37. Are you bad luck personified? – You seem to live as the human embodiment of misfortune, spreading bad luck wherever you go.
38. I’d mock you but don’t want to hear your reply. – I’d insult you, but I’d rather not get a response since your comebacks are so clever and witty.
39. You wrote the book on bad choices. – Your life is filled with poor judgment and decision-making to the point you could author a guide on the topic.
40. With laziness like yours, you could be a superhero. – Your extreme laziness and ability to avoid work is so advanced it seems almost supernatural.
41. Did you shatter a mirror and get cursed with incompetence? – Your chronic lack of skill makes it seem like you broke a mirror and are cursed with eternal ineptitude.
42. You’re the expert at doing zilch. – You have mastered the art of doing absolutely nothing and wasting time.
43. I didn’t think someone could be so generic. – Your sheer mediocrity and lack of any distinguishing qualities is impressively banal.
44. You’re proof evolution can reverse. – Your lack of development suggests humans can actually regress evolutionarily.
45. You’d win an award for wasting time. – You have a talent for finding pointless ways to squander your hours that deserves recognition.
46. I didn’t know someone could be allergic to success before meeting you. – You avoid achievement so reflexively, it’s like you have an allergy to prosperity.
47. You have a talent for dodging greatness. – Any chance at excellence eludes you as you’re so skilled at evading opportunities.
48. If stupidity was art, you’d be Picasso. – Your foolishness is so creative and advanced, you’d be considered a master artist in that field.
49. You’re the living embodiment of regret. – Every choice you make seems to lead to remorse, as if regret is your natural state.
50. Your dreams must be chronically disappointed. – None of your aspirations or hopes ever seem to materialize, only letdowns.
51. Did you hit every branch falling off the awkward tree? – Your pervasive awkwardness implies you collided with every branch on your way down the clumsy tree.
52. Your comedic timing needs some work. – Your inability to deliver jokes effectively means you need to improve your sense of humor timing.
53. You must be immune to laughter. – Humor seems unable to affect you since you never crack a smile, as if you’re laughter-proof.
54. You’re a walking advertisement for birth control. – Your offputting personality serves as an ad for abstinence or contraception.
55. Watching paint dry is more entertaining than you. – The mundane act of paint drying is more amusing than spending time with you.
56. You have a black belt in awkwardness. – Through extensive training, you have achieved expert-level awkwardness.
57. Misfortune is attracted to you like a magnet. – Bad luck follows you everywhere, drawn to you like metal to a magnet.
58. You’d take first place for being forgettable. – Your sheer lack of distinguishing traits makes you the easy winner of any most unremarkable contest.
59. You’re not ugly but not model material either. – While not necessarily unattractive, you don’t have the looks of a fashion model.
60. Did you leave your wit at home today? – You seem to have misplaced your sense of humor and quips today.
61. That hairdo is an interesting choice. – Your unique hairstyle is certainly an intriguing decision.
62. Your fashion sense seems to be hibernating. – Your clothing choices imply you have a dormant sense of style.
63. Compliments bounce right off you, don’t they? – Praise and appreciation never seem to resonate with you at all.
64. You’re a human blooper reel. – Like a video of mess-ups and mistakes, you’re prone to blunders.
65. Is anyone home in that head of yours? – You seem so vacant and spacey, it’s unclear if anyone is in your mind.
66. You’re the poster child for ‘meh’. – Your sheer mediocrity and averageness makes you the perfect spokesmodel for indifference.
67. Your brain seems stuck in power save mode. – You seem constantly spaced out and switched off mentally, like your brain is conserving energy.
68. You’re why we need so many warning labels. – Your habit for poor and dangerous choices explains all the cautionary labeling.
69. Your parents must be so proud of your immaturity. – Your childish antics bring your parents endless joy and pride, no doubt.
70. That face could inspire multiple bad jokes. – Your appearance provides endless fodder for terrible jokes and insults.
71. You really require subtitles to understand. – To grasp anything you say requires captioning to interpret your mumbling.
72. Your fashion is certainly unique, I’ll give you that. – Your clothing choices definitely stand out, albeit for the wrong reasons.
73. You’d take home the gold in any stupidity contest. – No one can match your level of foolishness and unintelligence.
74. Only a mother could love that face. Maybe a blind person too. – That unsightly face could only elicit affection from a mother or someone unable to see it.
75. You’d definitely get a participation trophy in a smarts competition. – Your intellect is so thoroughly average you’d only rate a participation award.